Instead of setting goals, I’ve been accomplishing structure.

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On January 1st of this year, I took an important note from at least a handful of folks on my social media feeds and decided that I would not begin 2021 with lofty goals over which I had no control.

I’ve always considered myself ambitious — when left without structure, I fill my days with micro-challenges and give into a healthy sense of restlessness. Because of this eagerness to constantly be doing something productive or new or out of the norm, 2020 hit me in a weak spot I’d always known I had but had never faced.

My creativity thrives…


We were still in the beginning of this thing. What did you discover?

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In July of 2020, I published my book of positive, celebratory LGBTQ narratives. Amidst the chaos of mis-and-disinformation surrounding COVID-19, I struggled to convince myself that this community-centering work mattered.

A year ago I had no idea that this publication would grant me spots in writing conferences, connect me with amazing podcasters, and help me reevaluate and understand my own gender, sexual, and romantic identities on a deeper level. I also learned that I am interested in marketing, but not necessarily in doing that work for myself.


All LGBTQIA+ Representation is Crucial.

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Write about a time when you knew you’d done the right thing.
Bianca Bass

This is my first Pride Month since coming out in an extremely public way… my book.

I’d been out as bi+/pansexual to my straight, cisgender male partner since the beginning of our relationship. Close friends knew as well. I didn’t feel I needed to have a huge conversation with family because I knew I’d be marrying my partner. Coming out in a big way seemed unnecessary, even selfish.

Since publication, however, I’ve received messages about resilience, representation, and the necessity of celebration. When I was fourteen, I could’ve used an example of a proud woman fighting bi-erasure and working on loving her entire self.

I knew I’d done the right thing when, after reading my book, my editor came out too.


Intrigued Bisexual Versus the Lesbian Masterdoc

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In the past couple of weeks, I’ve started a few blog posts with “I saw this thing on TikTok…” and this post is another one of those gen-z inspired deep dives into a section of both the Internet and gender and sexuality that I wasn’t expecting to occur this week.

What is compulsory heterosexuality?

Compulsory heterosexuality, coined by Adrienne Rich, poet and author of Compulsory Heterosexuality and the Lesbian Existence, is the expectation and normalcy of heterosexuality (man and woman in a monogamous, sexual and romantic relationship). The idea that anything outside of norm is “deviant” or “other”…


We hold much more in our bodies than we should.

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I think I’m a little old for TikTok. The platform’s algorithm has started showing me parenting hacks and financial investment information occasionally as if it’s testing how close I am to giving up my Taco Bell Tuesdays and spontaneous trips to Canada (it’s been over a year, but you get the point) for Sober Sunday brunches and baby wipes. That time is coming, I can see it on the horizon, but I’m not ready for the algorithms in my life to know that. I want dog memes and drama about High School Musical: The Musical: The Series.

Through the young…


Were we suppose to picture him as a selfless lover?

Photo by Sajjad Ahmadi on Unsplash

HBO Max’s Harley Quinn animated series, which premiered in 2019, is colorful in both graphics and language. Watching the trailer, I get the sense that it strikes the gold spot of the not-quite-funny-but-outrageous-enough-to-pull-laughs of Netflix’s Big Mouth. It’ll be chaotic and messy, which is often just what I want when winding down at the end of a long day filled with existential crises and doom scrolling. I’m in it for the overtly queer romance. The show has taken the internet by storm this week, however, because DC won’t allow Batman…


It impacts everyone, and the more we know the better.

Pronoun sign with blank space written in rainbow colors
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

The other week one of my favorite creators, Hannah Witton, made a video about her gender, and I think this concept was really important. The video was called Cis People Should Think About Their Gender Too.

It spoke to me so much because I’m often having gendered thoughts, recognizing those as gendered thoughts, and then just kind of saying, “Oh” and letting that go. That’s about the extent to which I think about it most of the time.

For example, if I make an assumption about someone’s gender upon meeting…

Jill Fredenburg

Author of LGBTQ+ Revolution 2.0 & occasional YouTube content creator 🏳️‍🌈 https://linktr.ee/JillFredenburg

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